Books

You Were Wild Once

You were wild once. Don’t let them tame you.

Krishnapriya: You are an abomination. You seem barely human to me. I have always thought so.

Me: Do not say that.

Krishnapriya: That is how I feel much of the time. Honestly. When you knew me, I was a very  insecure child–defensive and very very spiteful.  I guess I was intelligent too. I do not want you to use that for your writing.

Me: You need not say it to me. You know, I am old and have gone through different phases in my life. I precisely remember what I had felt at different points. I can use that insight into myself in my writing. What I write is not personal. I think it is only you who know that. Your judgment in such matters is so accurate. The other people are totally clueless. But, look, I am human. This has always been a consensus. But, these days the consensus is that I am “attitudent”.

Krishnapriya: “Attitudent” is my word. I do not like you using my word for your purposes. You are gonna pimp me.

Me: It is a sin to say this about my writing, which is the purest thing I have ever seen.

Krishnapriya: I am not to be sold. I am your Ayn Randian heroine? Her philosophy is bogus enough.

Me: I think my philosophy is far more reasonable, relaxed and honest than that of hers. I am falling too much in love with my philosophy, so much so that I want to spend the rest of my life writing and reading and re-reading what I had written.

Krishnapriya: You will never see my depth enough to give your heroine any character. What would you write then? It wouldn’t be Krishnapriya. Let us see what you write. It is bound to be an abomination.

Me: Do not say that. I should hug you.

Krishnapriya: I don’t want to be hugged.

Me: It is a desire, to feel that innocence.

Krishnapriya: What innocence?

Me: The innocence of the intellectual bond that we share.

Krishnapriya: Ruin everything by dissecting it. Intellectual bond? Now we have that?

Me: I am really thinking of finding a super smart woman. I also worry about my baby’s IQ.

Krishnapriya: Good luck with that. Do show me the super smart woman you are gonna settle for.

Me: You are an obvious suspect, if that needs mentioning at all.

Krishnapriya: An unreachable one too. Our priorities I am sure, would not coincide. Having a ‘High IQ’ progeny is not my dream.

Me: Sad, isn’t it? We are lowering the national IQ by a few decimal points.

She: That pains me. National IQ is of supreme importance to me.

Me: I have a day off. I am gonna use this conversation of ours for my beautiful blog.

Krishnapriya:#$%%^*()@

Me: You should have noticed that I never use such bad words. I do not want my Cutiekrishna to use such words.

Krishnapriya: I am blocking you from everywhere. It is going to be done.

Me: Why shouldn’t I quote you, my child? You think that people would say that we should make Krishnapriya the Prime Minister?

Krishnapriya: I am not your child.

Me: You know, I had my blog post on you in my mind for close to a decade.

Krishnapriya: Creep.

Me: People are like insects in a lab for me. So,Krishnapriya is like an insect to me.

Krishnapriya: See, You said it. I feel honored.

Me: Do not judge me for that. It is my nature. Innate tendency.

Krishnapriya: I cant help judging. I don’t like your innate tendencies.

Me: Philosophically, I believe in deep relationships. But, I just have opposite psychological tendencies. I do not have a choice there. Even if I have a high IQ baby, it is possible that though I believe in strengthening the deep bond that we share, I might spend my time observing how he responds to stimuli.

Krishnapriya: We aren’t friends.

Me: The bad thing about this world is that honesty does not get you friends.

Krishnapriya: Lol. Honesty doesn’t. It takes more. I don’t like you at all. It need not necessarily mean that you are bad.

Me: I really cannot like girls that are dumb. Most people are very, very, very dumb. I truly do not think that I can be friends with them for a minute. I do not trust you when you say that you can be friends with dumb people.

Krishnapriya: You should trust me there. I have been friends with these dumb people since I was 6 years old.

Me: I never really liked any boy, except my best friend in high school. But, I did not really like him. Personally I hated him, but he was so much fun to be with. I am in a phase in which I am being beaten up by people again and again—And then I hear that the source of all the problems is I, myself. So, my head is spinning with feelings of betrayal and confusion.

Krishnapriya: Lol. Then you should give being irrational a try.

Me: That is not good advice. I tried telling people that like in all other matters, it is highly probable that I am right in such conflicts too. But, I think it does not help. It makes people even more angry. It is because these people are so crazy that they do not even know how to calmly listen.

Krishnapriya: Lol. That wasn’t advice.

Me: By the time you finish saying something wonderful they would have done something really awful to you.

Krishnapriya: And yet you want to pimp me. Nothing. Let that comment pass.

Me: Thank You. 🙂

Krishnapriya: Why?

Me: Let this pass too.

Krishnapriya: One day, you will write a bitter rant about me too.

Me: I will do that only if you Megadupe me or something.

Krishnapriya: Lol. I shall try my best to do that. How do u think that can be done?

Me: It is hard for me to feel bitter about anything. All the people I write about were basically bad people who either had long-term plans to cheat me. Or, they were people who did really awful things for the pay cheque. You can’t cheat me. Ayn Rand once said that it is impossible to cheat an honest man

Krishnapriya: I have to change my privacy settings. Apparently some creeps have a collection of my pictures. It is only creeps that like me.

Me: Do not say that.

Krishnapriya: It is true. Now, I am getting beaten up by idiots.

Me: If I do not marry you, I will have to wait till I find a girl of a similar IQ range. And that is hard. I often take note of the lady reporters who ask intelligent questions. But sadly, they do not exist.Just think what would happen if I marry a dumb woman. What a waste of my IQ. My daughter will be like that Baby Priyanka in my old office. Oh, the horror.

Krishnapriya: Lol. I am sure that everyone wants high IQ children. I do too. But that wouldn’t suffice as a reason for me to marry someone. So, you should not count on me. Lol. I am sure that you will find a high IQ woman who wants to marry you so that you can have high IQ kids. So don’t give up.

Me: It would be a thought that would instantly cross my mind when I see such an intelligent woman.Now, Take care, my love. Remember, You used to call me that. And I used to be vaguely uncomfortable. I do not remember why it left a sick feeling in my stomach.

Krishnapriya: Lol. That should be why I called you that. You have a long way to go. I don’t see you getting there. I am reassured that you are just a creep. This way you are sure going to get me to marry you.

Me: Yes. I have been working hard at it for ten years

Krishnapriya: If this is how far you have got in the last one decade, you must be really dumb.

Me: It is mean of you to say that.

Krishnapriya: I am sorry. I could have been polite.

Me: You could have said, “If this is how far you have got in ten years, it means that your brain has a large capacity for development.”

Krishnapriya: Lol. I can’t stand this anymore. You know, for our project documentation, they gave us a model to go by. For them “bonafide” is a single word. That has to be how it has to be written. I just left. I tried telling them. I even offered to show them a dictionary. Then, I figured that it was for a pointless thing anyway. I said that I will have no part of it and left.

Me: Lol. You know, I had the same habit. I still have it.

Krishnapriya: I avoid being in situations where I will be inclined to speak my mind and annoy people. It is only once in a while such unavoidable situations come up. Mostly, I forgive stupidity. But this isn’t stupidity. This is something evil. I think I should think hard and plan how I can manage to live without being tortured and beaten. I have written a long letter to the chancellor.

Me: Lol. But, you said that things like this do not bother you at all.

Krishnapriya: You shouldn’t believe everything I say. I try to not let them get to me. These last few days in college are proving to be very hard. I have been writing this letter for a while now.

Me: There are books which teach you to forgive stupidity. I have read them, but it did not help. I just cannot help being myself.

Krishnapriya: They confiscated my phone last semester. Now they say that they have no idea where it is. This is a very strange and evil place.

Me: But having seen things that are even more evil, I can only say that my heart goes out to you. When I was in 6th standard, our class teacher said something stupid. I said that she was wrong. I showed my father’s grammar book to prove that to her. She screamed “Go away”, and the ten-year-old me ran back to my seat.

Krishnapriya: Lol. When I was in 11th such horrible things used to happen between me and my physics teacher. She refused to take classes for us the next year. I think I will live off my dad, and live in seclusion. I am going to write erotic fiction. I am sure that they will sell.

Me: I think I should live off my novels. What I write is in some ways mild, erotic non-fiction. But, I have never looked at it from that angle. No, I would not say that. Even today morning, I was thinking that my novel will sell because of that reason. But, I never wrote the way I do to sell. The standard I have set for my writing is that I should tell the most transgressive things and still look pure and innocent. People are overgrown babies—-That is basically the theme of my darling novel. I will use Krishnapriya to illustrate my point.

Krishnapriya: But, Krishnapriya’s feelings would always be completely neutral about it.

Me: Then I would be burning the fire inside my mind for a mission that is impossible. A spirit too needs fuel. I am trying to gain that fuel through you. Approval.

Krishnapriya: Lol.Why me? There are easier targets.

Me: I would sell my novel to the masses, but their approval makes me run. But, if history is any guide, even multinational companies did not become rich without mass market production. Authors have a far worse deal. But, the approval has to come from intelligent people like Krishnapriya.

When I write, I keep Baby Priyanka in my mind. I want my novel to be accessible even to girls like Baby Priyanka. I would consider my novel successful only if this condition is met. It takes a lot of intelligence to dumb it down to that level. But, people would not notice. And they would say that I am a childish writer. And that this is a baby class philosophy.

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