I woke up only to find myself beneath the fan wondering if it was the last day I would lie alive in this hell. I peeped out .Oh! Isn’t it too late? But, when it wasn’t? It was something I got used to & hadn’t bothered me much. I lied there, a few minutes more as usual .Will those few extra minutes make me happy? I wished it did. I woke up more tired and depressed.
Boredom, Disgust, Anxiety, Rebellion. A 30 page Control system engg. Assignment, 12 pages Microprocessor assignment, Microprocessor exam on Friday, Viva’s in afternoon! I rolled up my eyes ,stared into my broken mirror ,made sure I am still alive and asked myself whether I will ever get out of this hell .I read that message once more “If you’re around, you have to come to class-very important” I didn’t take the trouble to give a reply. If I won’t? I asked myself. Maybe, they will send me home for 6 months to cool my heels for the next SEM. It will be the best thing that could ever happen to me. I badly need it, a year out!I hurried up and stuffed 2 Stephen king novels into my bag & walked slowly through the corridor, staring at other fellow beings. I walked as fast as possible to get rid of them from his mind. Some greeted me with a sarcastic smile.”It’s a pleasure to know you’re still alive”.” What’s the difference?” I asked myself!
I hate vivas. Fools ask questions that wise men can’t answer .I went a few months back,” Electrical machines lab exam. We can’t expect magical things .Not having attended a single class & haven’t even opened the text, my expectations were modest. What’s this???? She pinched a big hole on my circuit diagram.Tak.Tak, Tak. My heart beat faster, faster, faster. It became even faster that I lost count. She stared at me with as much pity that came out of her eyes. After all, I am a dumb loser who failed to cope up with this system.
“Ok, tell me, what’s a motor?” My face went blank. Drops of sweat rolled down my cheeks. Sure, it made me look more pathetic. She whispered again “Shanu, You don’t know what’s a motor???”……….She smiled at the lady sitting next to her “.Oh, I would die to get out of here.” “You serious, you don’t know what a motor is?” You serious? She begged for an answer I was too dumb to give. It was almost similar to the one I faced a few days back and was of almost the same intensity.” You serious, you know 50000 decimal places of pi, you must be joking???” She hit the record on the desk and it woke me up from my sleep.” A motor is ………………..a motor is a……………..is …………………….is……………………..is……………………..a motor is a machine” I looked up as if i made a point.” A machine for what, Shanu tell me, a machine for what?”. ”I looked at her, my tiresome eyes. Please stop this, will u please leave me” my eyes whispered, but she seemed not to hear. A machine for……………..for…….. I stopped there and looked up.”This is fate; all these morons making fun of me”.