One interesting criticism I often hear about my blog is that it deals with the blackest blacks and the whitest whites with no intermediate shades of grey. Now, this is supposed to be an accurate description of a teenager’s mindset.
A teenager is color blind, and he can only see things as black and white. To him, people are either pure and noble like him—Or they are Ayn Rand-ian villains. Sophisticated writers, however, understand the nuances. They can see those “intermediate shades of grey”. But, I am not one among such intelligent writers who can see those “shades of grey”.
My villains are portrayed in the darkest light possible, when I am a modern day Howard Roark who fights my malicious detractors to save the integrity of my masterpieces. I must have collected all the embarrassing details about my detractors, and all the flattering details about me in one volume. There could be an “other side of the story”, a story that is untold.
Though people do not put it quite this way, I know that less conscientious readers and many of my detractors think this way, except perhaps my intelligent detractor.
I hear that my writings on my capitalistic detractor Barun Mitra were too heavy-handed, and that my post on my intelligent detractor was a bit one-sided. Needless to mention, I have never sympathized with such a worldview. The underlying assumption is that we have descended from angels and that things cannot be as bad as I say. I am so angry, and my writing is almost a bitch-fit. But, is that true?
If you have the slightest clue about human nature, it is hard to agree with the things-cannot-be-as-bad worldview. I know that if I write the whole truth, without omitting details, they would look far worse.
I had said that my think-tank detractor delayed my pay cheque for months, and that he conned me into signing fake documents. But, there is nothing surprising in all this. This happens in most non-profits. These are crimes, and I cannot imagine myself doing it. But, I grew up reading about corruption. It does not anger me much. In India what is called Corruption is often a good thing. I also know that most people find money very temping. They have such soft hearts. My think-tank detractor himself said that virtually no one would turn down a free lunch. He knows.
So, why am I angry?
Because, the most hilarious side of all that happened is not any of this. One thing I had left out was too surprising to me because it was a bit—shall I say, “Unlovely”? The funding organizations and the duds who had worked with me already have a vague idea of this because long ago, I had said it in a loop email in which I had marked all of them. I know that ass kicking is spanking for adults. The recipients were silent. Even today, when they see me, they say: “I know you.”
When I was misdiagnosed with cancer, apart from flooding my mailbox with work related emails, he had sent me to his wife, Madhumita Mitra in the night. My detractor conned me into it saying that her father is a doctor and that he would deliver some Gyan (Wisdom). But, I heard nothing about her father when I went there. I was very young then—half her age.
I simply do not know what on earth is wrong with such people.