Books, Uncategorized

Alone Together

Gavin and Anna collected toys and Anna was a big admirer of his StarWars collection.

“I went to college. You are saying that girls shouldn’t be “followed”. Who among us has not “followed” girls? When you want to talk to a woman, she might not be willing at first. You have to put in a lot of effort. It is the same all over the country.” 

These are not my words, and you probably know this because this is not my style. Sharad Yadav, an intelligent fellow from Bihar said this in the Loksabha a few months ago.

How did our feminists respond to this?  “I’ve never been so demoralized in my entire life. It was a one-sided, biased, male-dominated debate. It was shameful.”, Vrinda Gover, a human rights lawyer said. “It’s almost a good thing that Lok Sabha TV isn’t on our favorites list usually. Because, if you were to see and hear who runs our country, who takes decisions, who contests them, you would probably feel safer in the Sunderbans than in your own homes,”, another lady said.
Ha,The perils confronting women in a patriarchal society! But, what this bright fellow said is true. This is true, not just in his college in Bihar, and throughout the country. This is true, everywhere in the world. This phenomenon runs right through the animal kingdom, with very rare exceptions. Wherever there are exceptions, there are sound reasons why this “law” does not hold. So, India’s patriarchal culture cannot be responsible for this phenomenon. Robert L. Trivers, an evolutionary biologist and sociobiologist figured out the reason in 1972. 

“The sex that invests most in rearing the young—by carrying a fetus for nine months in its belly, for example—is the sex that makes the least profit from an extra mating: The sex that invests the least has time to spare to seek other mates. Therefore, broadly speaking, males invest less and seek quantity of mates, while females invest more and seek quality of mates: The result is that males compete for the attention of females. In the case of a bird such as a peacock, males will go through their ritual courtship display for any passing female; females will mate with only one male, usually the one with the most elaborately decorated tail: Indeed, according to sexual selection theory, it is the female’s fault that the male has such a ridiculous tail at all. Males evolved long tails to charm females: Females evolved the ability to be charmed to be sure of picking the best males.”-Matt Ridley, “The Red Queen”

But, what happens to the men who do not pursue women? We should listen to Katrin Bentley who tells the story of such a Nerd in “Alone Together”—her husband, Gavin. Gavin is a high IQ finance guy who is not willing to teach Finance, because he finds finance shockingly simple. He is too honest to charge people for something that he finds obvious. When Katrin married Gavin, she noticed that he was weird, but, she felt that it was because she was Swiss and he, an Australian. But, she was wrong.

“In 1993 Gavin gave up his job as a financial controller and decided to study from home. For a long time his work had been his special interest. Now he needed a new one. Lo and behold, he made a friend. The only problem was, she was a woman. Both collected toys and Anna was a big admirer of his StarWars collection.

Look! And then Gavin started talking about Anna 24*7.

One day Gavin said to me, ‘Guess what, Anna and I kissed.’ I almost fell off my chair. ‘Don’t worry, it wasn’t that great, not like with you, but it was fun to once kiss somebody else.’ I was shocked about his honesty. If I’d kissed somebody I wouldn’t have brought it up! Gavin, on the other hand, enjoyed telling me about his experience.  And he said, “You should be happy that I am not Anna’s. It means that you are the winner in the contest.” He seemed totally detached from the emotional aspects, because to him it was all a game. He said, “I love you both the same. I wish we could all live in the same house.” For him telling the truth was more important than anything.”

I am sure that he meant it.

When one day Anna called him up saying that she hates her husband and is going to run away, he said, “God, that is crazy” and went to her home running when his favorite TV show was going on. But, Gavin’s wife understood that it was a game that Anna was playing to marry him. Gavin’s wife tried to stop him, but did not succeed. Gavin soon came back saying that he missed his favorite TV show.

Fed up seeing that her covert tactics are not working, Anna explicitly said that she wanted to take the relationship further. Gavin was not willing to cheat his wife. Anna became resentful. When Gavin called again, Anna’s daughter picked up the phone and said that he is calling her up again and again because he has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(OCD). Gavin was hurt, and he told Anna’s daughter what he thought of Anna. What he said was really mean. Gavin ended the relationship, learning a lesson: “It is hard to keep one woman happy. Two is impossible”

Anna talked to Gavin because she wanted a new husband. But, Gavin honestly believed that she talked to him because she “loved” his StarWars toys collection, because that was what she said. A large majority of the feminist views are such bogus claims that people pay only lip service to. When you hear feminists saying that “No means No”, remember Gavin. He took words literally.

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