A Cat, Not A Defective Dog

18dczzw3crv48jpgMe: Do you have Asperger Syndrome?

Krishnapriya: Ummm….I don’t think I have it.

Me: It is a gift. A cat, not a defective dog.

Krishnapriya: Actually, I am not really sure.

Me: So, if I tell you that it is a gift, you will change your position from “I don’t have it” to “Actually, I am not very sure”? 

Krishnapriya: Lol. You think I did not see that coming?

******

Krishnapriya: I am reading up on sins and atonement.

Me: Why do you do that, my dearest child? Did you do anything wrong?

Krishnapriya: I think I have done quite a few wrong things. And I guess I am not one of those people who can forgive or forget quite so easily.

Me: Is that a warning? What wrong thing did you (I) do?

Krishnapriya: Lol. I will read it in your book someday if I tell you.

******

Krishnapriya: What is your novel about? 

Me: It is about an exceptionally intelligent boy who cannot read social cues. His life, from Kindergarten to workplace. 

She: Haha. That is you. I know that you do not have much imagination.

Me: As a writer, I feel compelled to tell the truth. A lot of what people call imagination is lying.

She: You are very extraordinary, after all. Tell me. Is there anything good or great in the world that you aren’t capable of?

******

Me: Read “Why productivity fades with age: The crime–genius connection.”

Krishnapriya: Why did you send this to me?

Me: Reasons why Krishnapriya should marry me: Miller (1999, 2000) argues that women judge men’s underlying genetic quality by their ‘‘cultural displays’’ of artistic expressions. In the course of sexual selection, women have been selected to be attracted to men whose competitive urge manifests itself in arts and sciences. Men who can win the Nobel prize or the Grammy are obviously more capable than those who cannot. These men will, therefore, make better fathers and providers for their offspring, even though their competitive urge will soon decline after marriage and parenthood, and their productivity will fade. However, fathers do not have to win the Nobel prize or the Grammy every year to earn sufficient resources to make parental investment into the offspring. Their superior genetic quality has already been demonstrated when they were young and highly competitive. This is why highly competitive and successful men (in whatever endeavor) attract mates; they can bring in more resources and be better fathers even when they are not being highly competitive later in life

Krishnapriya: I want a fairytale romance. Not your lame calculative crap. Anyway, you are the last man I would want to marry.

Me: I want a fairy tale romance too. But, women want the lame, calculative stuff. So, I decided that I should make them do the Math so that they do not get the worst of both worlds.

Krishnapriya: Lol.

 

Author: Shanu Athiparambath

Jocks Should Be Worried.

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