Why should I clone myself? So many reasons:
1)He will not be a noisy, messy baby like those types you can see inside the Delhi Metro. I do not want them inside my home. When I was a child, when my mother used to keep me somewhere, I wouldn’t even move. I want my child to be like how I once was.
2) He will inherit my IQ. This is a safe bet. Even the smartest people I know often have a hard time coming to grips with the things I quickly gathered when I was young. If I marry Krishnapriya, our child’s IQ will be astronomical, but it will still be a little less than that of mine.
3) I will be impressed by his frightening conscientiousness. He will wake up at 4 O Clock in the morning, and will not drink, smoke or do drugs. He would have finished reading a book by the time his lazy college-mates wake up.
4) He will be weird. This is another way of saying that he will not be a sheep. He will not be a pathetic creature that finds it necessary to blindly conform to social norms. He will always ask: “But, is this true? Or should I believe in this simply because people around me do?”
5) He will be self-motivated. When I was a kid, I used to write down the list of words that attracted my attention, along with their meanings. No one asked me to do that. When my mother once asked me whether I ever read those notes, I looked at her with intense disapproval. Later, I would gather that H. L. Mencken too was like me.
6) He will inherit my near-photographic memory. When a friend who had a short stint with my newspaper asks me questions like: “Where does Murray Rothbard discuss the effect of savings during a depression?”, I would answer: “America’s Great Depression, Page no. 63, Last paragraph.” I do not want that to be lost.
7) He will not be trapped in a particular way of thinking. He will not have preconceived notions about what is right, and what is wrong. Preconceived notions like: “Humility is a virtue. Truth is not black-and-white. It is wrong to be judgmental. It is a bad thing to find fault in others people. Objectivity is about not taking a strong stance.”
“I confess that I take anti-cloning arguments personally. They insult a son I hope I live to meet. Yes, I wish to clone myself and raise the baby as my son. Seriously. I want to experience the sublime bond I’m sure we’d share. I’m confident that he’d be delighted, too, because I would love to be raised by me. I’m not pushing others to clone themselves. I’m not asking anyone else to pay for my dream. I just want government to leave me and the cloning business alone. Is that too much to ask?”
9) He will understand the concept of morality.